Friday, February 9, 2007

Ooga Ooga and Such

A caveman sat among his cavemen brethren. Being a leader of men, a precursor to the great figures of human history, he exhorted his fellow strivers to attain new heights of knowledge and action heretofore un reached by man.

His hairy hand scratched his stinky ass, whereupon he raised it to his nose. "Ooga ooga," quoth he. "Oooga ooga ooga ooga, ooga! Oooga oo."

Hearing such eloquence, many of the men burst into tears, or perhaps the snot that was already dried on their face simply fell off all at once. Either way, they had been forever changed by this burning light of existence. Moving as one, they followed him out of the cave. A vast valley opened before them, teeming with God's spawn in all shapes and sizes. One of God's spawn jumped out from behind a tree and bit the arm off the third dude in line. The rest of them moved a bit further along the path and just let that shit happen.

After two fights and a few short stops so someone could take a crap, they emerged off of the rise and onto the plain. Then they got distracted by a few babes who were hanging out by the stream picking bugs off of each other and eating them. The cavemen sat drooling mightily and not one of the babes was afraid of being exploited by pornography. One of these fair maidens crapped too, so free she felt of pression.


The valiant voice of the chosen one was like a cold splash of water on a sleeping woolly mammoth. The day hung in the balance; a long brutal hunt which could result in little more than sweat, or a day of luxury with some hotties.

What followed was long retold ooga by ooga; tears of ooga ooga oo lifting the memory into more than myth. The sun went down and the cavemen and women rushed our race towards this blog.

1 comment:

frotoe said...

fascinating. I think I saw that on the discovery channel last night!!